Hey guys,
It's been a long time since I posted something here, but I see that people are still visiting this site!...somehow.
Anyway, for anyone who wants to know more about Shaggy Dogs or wipe-free poops, check out my active blog at http://bendedbrains.com/.
It's like this site, but better and not dead! Yay!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Joys of a Wipe Free Poop
Few pleasures can be compared to the unparalleled joys of vacating your bowls without the added need to clean the derriere after excretion. I believe it was Shakespeare himself who once wrote of this passing ecstasy when he penned the famous words, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more fair and temperate."
Indeed, it just feels wonderful, after laboring over a toilet bowl, to easily and comfortably release a load into the ceramic bowl beneath. The overwhelming feeling of release combined with the mixing of colors - almost zen like or Taoist in appearance, as two opposing concepts commingle to complete each other - offers a feeling maybe only on par with that of blowing a massive load after having been backed up for days and days due to the inhibitory manner of being forced to share a domicile with a chronically unadventurous room mate.
In any regarding of this topic, a large defecation can only be made more pleasant by the possibly, and thereby divinely supreme, cleanly nature of it. To grab the quilted sheets of white wipes posthaste and to wipe only once, realizing that said action was not actually of any sort of necessity whatsoever, as said bottom already had the cleanliness of an untouched virgin, is quite enough to make the eyes of even the most astute epicurean in the world roll backwards from the sheer sensuality of it.
And for these reasons alone, a wipe free poop is unequaled in the eyes of man.
Monday, April 4, 2011
The Shaggy Dog (Part 1)
There was once a poor Kazakh shepherding family living outside of the capital, Astana, comprised of a mother, a father, and their only son. Their life was hard, and the family lived in the most abject poverty imaginable. Often times the boy had to go without supper, and would often sleep on the floor of his yurt, snuggled up against his shepherding dog for warmth.
One day, the father looked at his son and with pain in his eyes said, "My boy, I fear times are just going to get worse and we will not have enough money to support ourselves and your poor mother. Today, I want you to take the dog and half our flock into the city and sell them off. With half the money you make, buy ourselves as many horses as you can. Inshallah, we will be able to breed them and start anew."
The boy dutifully obliged, and the next day he set off into the capital with his faithful dog and half his flock. The bright lights blinded the boy, but along back alleys and broad boulevards he wandered searching for the animal market. He shuddered at each turn he made, as all the locals stood stunned staring at him, his dog, his flock.
Finally they arrived at the market. Immediately a man ran up to the boy and started screaming out from excitement: "Mashallah! Look at that dog of yours! I have never seen anything quite like it."
The boy stood still.
"My boy, you do not understand. This dog of yours, I have never quite seen anything like it. It's coat is of the most impressive color, and its volume! Goodness, it is of the most impressive quality and texture of anything I have ever seen."
And on and on the man went, waxing praises most unheard of to the boy about anything in the world, let alone his faithful furry friend. Gradually the man puttered to a halt, though his mouth continued to hang open. By this time a small crowd had gathered, all staring at the boy's dog, mouths agape. Taking a few deep breaths, the man again continued: "My boy, I am sorry. Where were my manners. In any case, I am the owner of this animal market as well as one of the judges for the national shaggy dog contest happening this week, right here in the capital.
"Please, allow me to enter you and your dog in the contest. You are certain to win, and I would be happy to pay for both your hotel room and any compensation to your family for your time away."
The boy was dazzled, and agreed to enter the contest.
The week passed slowly, but eventually the day of the contest arrived.
One day, the father looked at his son and with pain in his eyes said, "My boy, I fear times are just going to get worse and we will not have enough money to support ourselves and your poor mother. Today, I want you to take the dog and half our flock into the city and sell them off. With half the money you make, buy ourselves as many horses as you can. Inshallah, we will be able to breed them and start anew."
The boy dutifully obliged, and the next day he set off into the capital with his faithful dog and half his flock. The bright lights blinded the boy, but along back alleys and broad boulevards he wandered searching for the animal market. He shuddered at each turn he made, as all the locals stood stunned staring at him, his dog, his flock.
Finally they arrived at the market. Immediately a man ran up to the boy and started screaming out from excitement: "Mashallah! Look at that dog of yours! I have never seen anything quite like it."
The boy stood still.
"My boy, you do not understand. This dog of yours, I have never quite seen anything like it. It's coat is of the most impressive color, and its volume! Goodness, it is of the most impressive quality and texture of anything I have ever seen."
And on and on the man went, waxing praises most unheard of to the boy about anything in the world, let alone his faithful furry friend. Gradually the man puttered to a halt, though his mouth continued to hang open. By this time a small crowd had gathered, all staring at the boy's dog, mouths agape. Taking a few deep breaths, the man again continued: "My boy, I am sorry. Where were my manners. In any case, I am the owner of this animal market as well as one of the judges for the national shaggy dog contest happening this week, right here in the capital.
"Please, allow me to enter you and your dog in the contest. You are certain to win, and I would be happy to pay for both your hotel room and any compensation to your family for your time away."
The boy was dazzled, and agreed to enter the contest.
The week passed slowly, but eventually the day of the contest arrived.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
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